Renovations
by Krimzon Flygon
Summary: While staying home alone, Ren and Karin decide to renovate the house before their parents return. The only problem is that they are not alone as they think... A parody of Mouse Hunt.
1. Chapter I

Renovations

(I love Mouse Hunt. I have just learned about the manga, Karin, and the gears in my head started turning...)

Disclaimer: I own a few of the traps, but nothing else.

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Chapter I

"Refresh my memory. _Where_ are we going again?" Ren Maaka asked as he struggled with a large, moth-eaten leather suitcase.

"We've been telling you all this month. We're taking a vacation to Transylvania to visit relatives." Henry said as he jammed a final shirt into his travel bag and slammed it shut. Suddenly, the bag gave a groan and burst open, showering clothing everywhere. "Oh, _come on_! Half of this stuff isn't even mine!"

Ren sighed as he watched his father struggle to pick up the clothing all over the floor. He didn't especially care for going to Transylvania, especially with the Tokyo regional chess championship coming up. Ren had made an oath ever since he started playing the game; nothing short of Earth colliding with another planet would keep him from that tourney. Suddenly he got an idea.

"Dad, how about if I stay home and watch the house while you're out? "

Henry gave a howl of pain as he slammed the bag closed on his hand. Turning, he stared at Ren. "What?"

"Dad, come on!" Ren pleaded. "I'm 19 years old, I know how to cook, I can get the mail for you, I can handle it all! Please, let me prove how mature I can be! And besides, it'll save some room in that bag."

Henry turned away and forced the bag shut. Ren waited. He knew that something was about to happen that would guarantee his father's consent in about three...two...one...

BOOM!

Henry stared forlornly at the clothing newly scattered all over the floor. "All right." He said finally.

Ren barely suppressed a cry of joy.

"But..."

Ren's grin wavered. "But?"

"Not alone." Henry said as he began separating Ren's clothes from the rest in the bag. "I'm not ready just yet for you to watch the house all alone. You need someone else here with you."

Ren's grin vanished. "Like?"

"Karin."

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!_

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"Bye, you guys!" Called Calera Maaka as she and Henry waved out the window of the car as it disappeared down the hill. Ren managed a weak grin, which vanished as he stared down at his sister, Karin.

Karin watched the cloud of dust fade from the road. "I wonder why they chose me to stay behind."

Ren turned to walk back into the house. "I just thought of a few reasons."

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"_Bored_." Ren groaned as he tossed the 367th pencil into the ceiling. Karin was reading a back issue of MAD magazine, then sighed and tossed it away. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, she appeared to be in deep thought. Suddenly, a slow grin crept across her face.

"Ren, I just got the best idea."

"Mm?"

"Lets renovate the house!"

Ren looked up. "Come again?"

"Yeah!" Karin said happily. "Just think about the look on Mom and Dad's faces when they come in to see the house completely redone!"

Ren looked positively stunned. "Karin, be realistic here! What do we know about renovations? I don't even know how to spell the word!"

Karin shrugged. "Well, if that's how you feel about it. But personally, I bet it's a lot better then tossing pencils into the ceiling."

Ren chuckled. "Well, how would you know?" He asked as he tossed another pencil upward and into the house's sprinkler system. "Oops."

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(A/N: So how was it? R and R!


	2. Chapter II

Chapter II

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Ren swept the blow-dryer over the books laid out on the table. Sighing, he laid it down and sat down on the floor.

"Aagh!"

Ren shot up again, trying to ignore the sogginess spreading over the back of his pants. Karin walked into the room, weaving around one of the many fans all over the room. She looked at Ren, as though she was expecting something.

"Fine." Said Ren.

"Huh?" Karin asked.

Ren sighed, braced himself, and said, "I'll help you redo the house."

Karin looked shocked, then an expression of ecstacy spread over her face. "Really? You mean it?"

Ren nodded painfully. "Mm-hmm"

"Wheeeee!" Squealed Karin as she leapt forward and glomped her brother.

"Mmph!" Ren snorted. "Doesn't mean...want...to touch."

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"Okay." Ren said. "Lets not jump into huge renovations so early. We have to start out small; cleaning the house."

Karin nodded. "Fair enough. So where do we start?"

Ren thought for a moment. "Lets get the messiest room out of the way first; the attic."

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Ren stared around his room. _Okay._ He thought. _Locate the weakest link, separate it from the herd, and take it out._

Ten minutes later...

Ren glanced in between the two books in his hands. _Chessman's Bible and the Chess Guide for Absolute Nimrods_. _Jeez, this is hard._

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Ren jumped about a foot in the air. _Karin!_ He dashed out the door, skidding on the damp wooden floor. Recovering, he tore up to the ladder leading up to the attic. "Karin?" Suddenly he heard rapid footsteps from above, and a yell of shock. He stared up and his eyes widened as Karin came crashing down from above, knocking him down. Karin quickly got up and stared down at her unconscious brother, before dashing to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle off of the counter. Running back to Ren, she waved the bottle under his nose.

"HWAAAAAAAAARGH!" Ren let out a howl of agony and shot up, holding his nose. Karin stared.

"Uh, Ren, wasn't that reaction overdone? I mean, it was just salt."

Ren turned to her. "That's the thing. That wasn't salt. It was garlic powder."

Karin stared skeptically at the bottle, before sniffing it and drawing back with disgust. "Yuck, you're right. At least it worked."

Ren got to his feet slowly. "Karin, what happened up there? You screamed like the dead was walking."

Karin shuddered. "There was something up there! It moved!"

Ren rolled his eyes. "Okay, then lets go up and take care of it.

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Ren stared around the attic, taking in dusty old books and moth-eaten suits. Suddenly something grabbed his hand. "YAAAAH!"

"Sorry."

Ren shook his head. "Just look around the attic for a little while. If you see something, give a yell." With that, the two young vampires separated and began searching the attic. Ren shifted through a pile of old CDs. _Halo. I wonder if it still works._ He stopped and pocketed it.

Click.

Ren jumped at the sound, whirling to face it. Thanks to his vampire blood, he could see movement in the dark. Squinting, he saw a small, furry shape hunched on top of a box of old, dusty books. "Karin, it was just a mouse."

Karin hurried over. "I see him." she said.

Ren grinned, revealing formidable incisors. "And _I_ got him!" He yelled, hurtling forward. The mouse, however, saw him about 1/6 of a second before the vampire grabbed him, and dove out of the way, sending Ren crashing through the box and sprawling on the floor. "Ow."

Karin lunged at the mouse, missed, and skidded on the floor, scrabbling wildly for the rodent, who dashed into a hole in the wall. Karin crashed into the wall, showering dust everywhere. Ren had gotten to his feet by this time, and helped Karin up. "We'll never get him now." He said.

"Yeah, but we can't just leave this thing up here." Said Karin. "Think about what it'll do to the aesthetic sense of this place."

Ren nodded. "I'll be right back."

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"Steadyyyyyyyy..." Ren said as he carefully placed an olive on a mouse trap, and quickly pulled his hand away. "Done. All right, lets get back to work."

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Late that night, Karin lay in bed, trying to sleep. For about the third time, she got up and paced around her room, then got back in bed.

SNAP!

Karin sat up quickly at the sudden sound. Then as she realized what it was, she smiled and slept peacefully.

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The next morning Karin ran up to the attic. Dreading what she was about see, she slowly walked up to the mousetrap, and her jaw dropped.

"REN!"

About five seconds later, Ren tore up the stairs. "What? What? Who died?"

Karin pointed. "No one did! Look!"

Ren stared. "Whoa."

The mousetrap had snapped. However there was no corpse, no blood, nothing. Nothing, that is, except a small red object on the ground. Ren picked it up and bit it. "I don't believe it. It's the pit. He snapped the trap, ate the olive and left the pit to mock us."

"How do you now it's a he?" Karin asked, frowning at him.

Ren rolled his eyes. "Okay; _it_." He walked downstairs again, Karin close behind him. Walking into the kitchen, he tossed the pit in the garbage. Karin stepped beside him. "So should I make pancakes or something?" She asked.

"That all depends on if they have discovered an antidote." Ren joked.

Karin rolled her eyes. "Har, har." She walked to the cabinet and pulled out a box of Lucky Charms. "You want anything?" She asked.

"No thanks. I have a date tonight. About time too; I'm starving."

Karin shrugged as she got a bowl. "Suit yourself." she said as she pored the cereal into the bowl. Suddenly there was a muffled thump and Karin let out a shriek. The mouse had been hiding in the box of cereal and had dumped into the bowl. Karin turned beet red and seemed ready to either pass out or have a blood attack. Ren, on the other hand, dove forward, nearly knocking the table over. The mouse, however, was quicker. Spraying lucky charms into Ren's face, the rodent dashed off the table, Ren and Karin close behind. With a roar of rage, Ren dove at the mouse. The mouse turned sharply and dashed into a hole in the wall, sending Ren smashing into the wall. As his world spun, the young vampire heard a rattling noise. Glancing up, he saw a priceless vase on a shelf above him quiver, and then topple off. Ren's vampire reflexes saved him. He reached up and grabbed the vase seconds before it clonked him over the head. Ren got up and slowly placed the vase on the shelf as Karin ran up to him.

"Obviously, we have underestimated our foe. We have to kick it up a notch." He turned to his sister with a wry smile. "Get the Gouda."

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"Karin, this is ridiculous!" Ren snapped.

"Is not! And besides, you agreed to redo the house, and some appliances are in need of replacement." Karin retorted.

"Replacement by a 100,000 yen Jacuzzi tub?!?" Ren asked as the two vampires struggled to pull the heavy appliance up the stairs.

"Oh, come on, Ren! Just think about how happy Mom and Dad will be!"

Ren snorted. "I must have missed something, I don't remember bankruptcy being grounds for a complement!" As he neared the top of the stairs, he stared at a jar on the banister, and his eyes widened. The mouse was standing behind the jar, distorting its face. Ren screamed, startling the mouse, and it slid down the banister next to Karin. She screamed and dropped the tub. Ren did not have time to drop the tub and was pulled backwards into the tub. Meanwhile, the tub slid backwards, and bashed into Karin, sending her into the tub as well, and the two went shooting through the closed door with a crash and into the pond, where, fortunately, the tub floated them like a boat. Karin turned to the shell-shocked Ren. "Look on the bright side. We were going to replace that door anyway."

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(A/N: Like it? R and R!)


	3. Chapter III

Chapter III

(A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I hope I get even more for this chapter, especially since things start getting really crazy now...)

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"Umm, Ren, isn't this a bit...much?" Karin asked as her brother slid yet another mousetrap into place around the mouse hole.

Ren turned to her and shook his head wryly. "Don't underestimate the power of math. You see, the mouse somehow knows how to snap the trap and get the bait. So it'll try to do it with one of these traps, and it'll start snappin' them all. He'll panic, and the law of probability states at least _one_ of them has to get him."

Karin nodded. "You're a genius."

Ren smiled as he and Karin turned to the door. "Nope. I'm just a vampire." He said as he turned the knob.

It didn't open.

Ren's smug grin faded as he rattled the doorknob. Karin clenched her hands together, willing the door to open. Ren stopped his frantic rattling abruptly. As if on an invisible cue, he and his sister turned to face the sea of about fifty mousetraps spread over the floor like a spring-loaded minefield.

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Karin felt herself dozing off after three hours of entrapment in the room, and snapped up. She sat next to her brother cross-legged on the small patch of safe ground. Ren, on the other hand, was sitting on the back of his legs, like a vampiric samurai. Karin stared at him, then turned and stared at the floor.

"Karin."

Karin stiffened at the sound of Ren's harsh whisper. "Don't move a muscle."

Karin had heard it too; the click of nails on the floor as the mouse came out of the wall.

"Don't move." Ren repeated. "This is it."

The mouse wove around the mousetraps, ignoring the bait. Ren's eyes narrowed. The mouse continued to the wall, then scaled the curtains and jumped onto a shelf next to the window.

"Shh!" Ren said suddenly. "He's going for the cherries."

Indeed, the mouse walked up to a bowl of cherries on the shelf.

"But I thought mice ate cheese." Said Karin, confused.

"Not in the morning, cheese tires them out. They need fruit for energy." Ren explained.

"Oh."

Suddenly, the mouse gave a mighty jump, landing on a spoon in the bowl and sending a cherry flying out of the bowl and into the field of traps. Karin and Ren's screams of agony were drowned out by the deafening symphony of snaps as the traps went off in a huge wave. As it died down, Ren and Karin struggled to remove the painful traps. Meanwhile, the mouse was leisurely collecting the bait from the snapped traps.

Karin removed a particularly painful trap from her upper lip and looked up. "THERE HE GOES!"

Ren scrambled to his feet and ran to the closet. Rummaging inside, he pulled out a vacuum. "KARIN!"

Karin grabbed the cord and plugged it in. "Got it!"

Ren charged after the mouse, vacuum revved up to full power, sucking up the bait that the mouse had balanced on its back. "Muahahahahaha! This game is over!" Ren laughed. The mouse dashed into a hole in the wall. Ren gave a flying leap and jammed the vacuum hole into the wall. Karin ran up to the wall next to him. "I think it's working!" She said gleefully.

Suddenly there was a mighty tug on the vaccum. "Whoa!" Ren said, shocked. "I felt something!"

Karin smiled. "Keep sucking!" The two vampires, unfortunately, didn't notice the vacuum bag slowly expanding, thanks to the sewage tank that the mouse had rerouted the vacuum too. The mouse, meanwhile, stood safely outside on a windowsill. Ren and Karin turned to the window, and saw the mouse. Ren slowly got to his feet, and stormed toward the window. The mouse never found out what the furious vampire would have done had he got to the window, because at that moment, the vacuum exploded.

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Kenta Usui walked up the steps of the Maaka house. Looking around, he finally knocked on the door. Listening carefully, he heard footsteps, then a shout of shock and a loud thud. The door opened and Kenta cringed at the smell.

"Who are you?" Ren asked, wiping sludge off his face.

"Uhh." Kenta began. _What do you say to a vampire covered in ooze, anyway_? "Is, er, Karin here? My name is Kenta Usui, and I'm a friend of her's from school, can she come out?"

Ren frowned. "Sorry, she can't. We're in the middle of a very extensive and important renovation."

Kenta sized up the vampire, who was covered in sludge and mousetraps. "I can see that."

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"Yeah, but I couldn't do that." Ren explained. "I had already moved my king, and I can only castle if I didn't move the king yet."

Karin walked next to her brother down a long hall. "Huh. So what did you do? Sounds like that guy had you dead to rights."

"Only thing I could do." Ren frowned. "I gave him the ugliest fight I could."

Suddenly there was a beat and Karin's hands shot to her nose. Ren could see why; a little girl was screaming as her mother dragged her off. Karin ran to a garbage can and Ren could hear the nosebleed splatter on the bottom. After about 10 seconds, Karin straightened, looking pale and shaken. Ren beckoned her over to the door, with a plaque reading 'Tokyo Pound.' Ren walked up to the desk and rang the bell. About three minutes later, who would walk out of the door behind the desk but Kenta!

"Usui-kun, what are you doing here?" Karin asked him.

"I work here." Said Kenta. "So is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yeah." Ren said. "We need a cat."

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"Okay, just pick the one you like, they're all available." Kenta said as the three walked down a row of mewling cages.

"But, Usui-kun, these are all kittens. We were kind of hoping for an older cat. One with more...experience." Karin explained.

Kenta chuckled. "Never heard that one before, most people like the cute little ones, but experience with _what_, exactly?"

"Mouse hunting."

"Oh, all cats are good mousers." Kenta explained.

Ren chose this time to say his piece. "Yeah, but we have, well _huge_ mice, and we need a really, er, ferocious cat."

Karin stared at him for a few seconds, tuned to her boyfriend. "Uh, yeah! A vicious cat, difficult to love; you got any like that?"

Kenta stiffened. "I can't believe you asked. We have one that sounds like just the one. About time, too; things were getting so bad with him..." He sighed and walked off, beckoning the two vampires to come with him. "...I was afraid we would have to gas him again."

Ren glanced at Karin, then at the retreating Kenta. "Again?"

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"I don't think he's ever been out of that box." Kenta stared at a sturdy-looking wooden box, with nasty-looking chains wrapped around it. Ren walked forward and picked up the name tag.

"Catzilla?"

"Oh, that's the name _we_ gave him, but you can call him what you want." Kenta explained. Karin leaned down and looked in a crack in the box.

"Aww. Poor Catzilla. You want a home, don't you? You're not evil; you're just misunderstood."

Ren grinned and shoved his sister aside. "You're a stupid cat, aren't you?" The box shook and there was a vicious snarl from within. Ren's grin grew wider. "Yeah, you're stupid...and you're ugly."

Suddenly the box gave a mighty heave and rocked back and forth viciously, while something inside let out a furious screech. Ren leapt back in horror as Kenta grabbed a shock staff and jammed it into the box; sparks flew and the box stopped shaking.

"That little_ monster_!" Karin gasped.

Ren grinned wickedly. "We'll take him."

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Ren gave a final heave and dropped the box on the ground. Karin opened the window of the car and peered out at her brother.

"Go get 'em, Catzilla."

There was a crash as four paws burst through the side of the box. Ren stiffened as the box turned to him, preparing to fight, but the box turned back and ran off. Ren let out a sigh of relief.

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Karin placed a vase back on the shelf she had just dusted. Ren scanned the page of the chess book he was reading. _En passant to the left with my far right pawn, next turn, white-square bishop 3 squares top left direction, capture white knight, sacrificed to queen, pawn promote to queen for checkmate_. He stared at the page. _Wait, that can't be right!_

BOOM!

Karin jumped about a foot in the air, dropping the vase, where it crashed to pieces on the ground. Ren lunged to his feet. "What was that?!?" The two vampires ran into the dining room. There was evidence of a struggle, as pots and pans were scattered everywhere, and the tablecloth was shredded. Karin gave a moan; she had just finished the room. Ren suddenly pointed. "Karin, look." Karin followed his gaze to an opening in the wall, where a dumbwaiter used to be. Now there was nothing but a trickle of dust. Ren and Karin walked forward, not noticing the mouse dash into a hole in the wall, looking distinctly ruffled. Ren and his sister stared down the dumbwaiter; Karin's hands shot to her mouth and Ren turned a pale shade of green. "What a way to go..."

(A/N: How did you like it? Read and Review please!)


	4. Chapter IV

Chapter IV

(A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Get ready for the next chapter, and more chaos.)

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Ren answered a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" Opening the door, who would be standing there but Kenta! "Why do you keep appearing in our lives?!?"

Kenta gestured behind him to a truck with a large mechanical ant on it. "You called for an exterminator, right? Here I am."

Ren shook his head in utter disbelief. "No, you work for the pound."

Kenta gave a sour grin. "I used to. But my boss wasn't too keen on me selling you Catzilla. Something about suing for bodily injury to the recipient."

"More like bodily injury to the gift..." Ren muttered. "Nothing." He added, noticing Usui staring at him strangely. "You know that mouse? It's still there. We need you to get rid of it."

"Where's Catzilla?"

Ren grinned sadistically. "I was hungry." He lied.

Kenta smiled. "I'll get started. You just leave this to me." He turned to walk away, and something fell from his belt. Ren stooped and picked it up.

"Hey, Usui, you dropped your...uh..." He turned the can, reading the front. "_Arthro-Annihilator._"

Kenta turned quickly, taking the small black tube. "Oh, jeez. Thanks, Ren. Don't want to loose this; it's the strongest bug-bomb on the market."

Ren nodded skeptically "Yeah. Listen, I'll bring Karin somewhere and we'll just get out of your way."

Kenta smiled. "Thanks."

Ren turned. "KARIN!" He yelled.

Karin dashed down the stairs, holding a duster. "Yeah, Ren?"

"Get some good clothes on. You wanted to see that Naruto movie?"

Karin's face lit up. "Really? Thanks, Ren!"

Ren nodded. "I'll warm up the car." Turning to Kenta, he said, "Do what you do best." He said, walking out the door. Kenta grinned as he looked around the house. Footsteps broke the silence as Karin ran down the stairs, nearly crashing into her boyfriend.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Usui-kun! Uh, don't let me keep you!" She said, running out the door after her brother. Kenta looked around_. Okay...it's game time._

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Kenta slowly turned a small crank on his belt. Attached was a cord leading into a hole in the wall. On the other end was a tiny robot with large jaws, built specially for killing mice. Kenta held a small screen,giving him the ability to see exactly what his robot could. "He's close." He said to himself. "I can feel it."

That's when the screen went blank.

Kenta pulled out a small tape recorder from his belt. Pressing the record button, he said, "10:34 am. Experiencing technical difficulties. Will attempt to rectify. He opened a panel on the screen. "Piece of junk."

_45 minutes later..._

Exasperated, Kenta closed the panel. "The thing _works..._" Happening to look down, he saw a part of the wire chewed away. Confused, he picked it up and reconnected the two halves. Instantly the screen brightened. Kenta looked closely and saw the camera was facing something that looked like the spring-loaded winch on the front of his truck. Wait, that couldn't be right...

Kenta stared out the window at his truck. A wire lead from out the front door to the truck. Wait, was that the wire connecting the robot to his belt?!? Oh, jeez...Staring harder, Kenta saw a small furry shape on the lever. Kenta's eyes widened as the mouse pressed the lever. Instantly the winch began to reel in the wire. Kenta's jaw dropped as a whizzing sound reached his ears, growing louder. He struggled to remove his belt, then stopped as the wire began to tighten. "Oh, _snap_." That's when the wire went taut. Kenta was ripped violently off his feet and dragged through the floor, down the stairs and through the front door, skidded on the ground and stopped two feet away from the front of the truck. Stunned, he didn't notice the mouse run back into the house.

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"For the last time, Karin..._**I COULDN'T CASTLE!!!!!!**_" Ren shouted.

Karin stared at him haughtily. "_Well._"

Ren shook his head, then turned to the road. "Hey, ain't that Usui's truck?" He said, as a tow truck drove by, towing the exterminator truck behind it. Suddenly, as they turned the corner, they saw an ambulance and two police cars in front of their house. "Oh, jeez." Ren and Karen brought the car to a halt and ran up to the house. Fighting their way through the policemen and nurses, they saw Kenta on a stretcher, looking as if he had just gone through 3 rounds with Rocky Balboa. Karin ran up to her boyfriend. "Usui-kun, speak to me!"

Kenta stared at her with foggy, unfocused eyes. "Kaliiin?" He slurred, then passed out, and was pushed into the ambulance by two medics. Karin attempted to run after her, but was grabbed around the wrist by Ren.

"C'mon." He said, dragging her away and opening the door...to reveal a scene of pure, unadulterated chaos. Ren's jaw dropped and Karin moaned in agony; there was a massive fissure coming from upstairs, down through the stairs and out the door, like something had been dragged at high speeds through the ground. Ren's stupor was interrupted by Karin.

"Hey, big bro? Look what I found." She said, holding up a tape recorder. Ren took it.

"It must have fallen off Usui's belt." He said, pressing the playback button. The sound of footsteps emanated from it, followed by a door opening. Then came Kenta's voice; "Hey, what is that? What are you doing? Put that down...heheh, that tickles..." followed by the sound of an electric discharge and a bloodcurdling scream. Then the tape cut off. Ren turned to Karin, who looked as shocked as he felt. "I don't think we're dealing with an ordinary mouse."

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(A/N: Read and review, and I'll see you next chappie!)


	5. Chapter V

Chapter V

(A/N: Just a few more chapters left, so bear with me.)

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Ren and Karin walked through the house, surveying the damage caused by whatever had been dragged through the ground at close to a million miles per hour. Ren walked by the kitchen, stopped, and poked his head in. "Karin, check this out."

Karin followed him and peered into the kitchen, at something on the counter. "Looks like Usui-kun decided to make himself a sandwich..."

The two vampire walked into the room. Ren looked down at the sandwich on the table. "Roast beef, bread and butter pickles, arugula, lettuce, and capers." He said. "And the capers are tossed to one side with the arugula, but not the other side, so the arugula doesn't wilt...how did he know that?" He reached out to take the sandwich, when it scuttled away across the table. Ren started to reach toward it, then pulled his hand back He reached up and grabbed a frying pan off a rack and handed it to Karin. Then he grabbed the sandwich off of the counter. Sure enough, the mouse stared up at the two vampires. "Hello." Said Ren, as Karin brought the pan crashing down with all her might. It missed the mouse by about 10 centimeters, and instead hit a spoon. The frying pan bounced off the counter and smacked Ren in the face, sending him reeling back. The spoon flew into the air and hit a shelf, causing it to dump its contents on the two vampires. Karin sputtered and tried to wave flour out of her face, and accidently hit Ren in the mouth. Ren yelled, then grabbed the pan out of Karin's hand and hit her on the head with it. "Oh, you polycythemic idiot!" He yelled, then ran at the mouse. Dashing into the living room, he saw the mouse run into the chimney. Grinning, he charged into the chimney and began to climb.

Karin ran into the room, and stared up the chimney. "You see him?"

Ren's voice came from somewhere above her. "Yeah, I see him." There was a scrabbling noise, then silence. Then came Ren's voice. "Uh, Karin? I'm stuck! Hurry up and get a light, I can't breathe!" Karen turned to grab a flashlight, but noticed a box of matches on the ground. "That'll work." She said, picking it up and pulling one out. Meanwhile, a mouse pulled a gas dial out of the wall, and with a hissing noise, gas began to leak into the room. Karin didn't notice, and continued to try striking the match.

Ren tried to wiggle free of his entrapment. "Hurry up, kid!" He said, then his sensitive nose twitched, smelling. "Hey, Karin, you...smell something?" Karin successfully struck a match, but it burned out. Pulling a second one from the box, she tried again. Ren wracked his brain, trying to figure out what the smell was. "Smells like...gas."

At that moment, Karin struck the match.

With a tremendous explosion, the gas in the room ignited. Karin was blasted off her feet, and sent sailing into a cabinet filled with priceless china. Ren rocketed out of the chimney, and came crashing down to the lake with a loud splash. Karin toppled out of the cabinet. Looking up, she saw the mouse standing smugly just out of reach. Karin struggled to get up, when a creaking noise cought her attention. Turning, she saw the cabinet come crashing down on her fingers, causing her to shriek with pain. Pulling her fingers out from under it, the shoved the cabinet off her and got to her feet, just as Ren opened the door.

Karin ran up to him. "Brother, are you okay?"

Ren shoved her roughly out of the way and stormed over to the closet without breaking stride. Tossing the door open, he pulled something out; an ancient Winchester 12-gauge double barrel shotgun. Reaching into the closet again, he pulled out a box of shells. Karin ran up to him as he began to load. "Ren, what are you doing?"

Ren didn't even look up. "I'm going to eradicate that unspeakable monster once and for all." He said, with an audible note of insanity in his voice.

Karin's eyes widened. "Wait, bro, this is how accidents happen..."

Ren swung the gun at her, knocking a lamp off a desk. "DON"T TOUCH ME, GIRL!" He roared.

Karin put her hands together, pleading. "Ren, please, you're always telling me to think through what I do..."

Ren let out a wild shout of laughter, the pointy ears, sharp fangs, and Winchester making him look quite alarming, and Karin began to back away. Ren grinned insanely. "First I'm gonna blow his furry little head off, and then I'm gonna splatter his disgusting little mouse brains from here to Kingdom COME!" He yelled, pumping the gun and loading it, then storming toward the door.

Karin ran forward and grabbed the gun. "Wait, Ren, you're gonna blow a hole in the wall!"

"IT'LL BE WORTH IT!!!!!" Ren screamed.

"No, Ren!" Karin yelled, trying to hang on as Ren tried to shake her off the gun. "Think of Mom and Dad; they're coming home in five days! They'll be furious if they see the house destroyed!"

Ren seemed to stop. "Mom and Dad?" He asked.

Karin gave a sigh of relief; she seemed to be getting through to him. "Yes, just put the gun away and...what?"

Ren was staring at something in the hall. "There he goes." He said.

Karin turned to see the mouse dashing down the hall. Wheeling out of the line of fire, she plugged her ears. "Shoot!" She yelled. Ren brought the shotgun up and squeezed off a round. Karin thought the sound alone would bring the house down around them. Ren missed the mouse entirely, and blew a huge hole in the floor. The two vampires dashed into the next room and saw the mouse running away near the piano. Ren aimed and fired again, blowing a leg off the piano and bringing it down with a jumbled chord.

"The piano!" Karin shouted as she chased after her brother, who was reloading. "You hit the _piano_..." The two vampires ran into the parlor. Karin turned to her brother. "Look..."

"SHH!" Ren snapped. Karin heard it too; the sound of a tin can rolling across the floor. Ren turned to see a can of beans rolling on its own accord. Ren aimed and fired two more shells into the floor, missing his intended target, then reloaded again, as Karin talked in his ear.

"Ren, are you nuts? You're blowing the whole house apart! The only think you haven't hit yet is the _mouse_! Come on, give another person a chance with that gun..." Karin stammered to a halt, suddenly staring down both barrels of the firearm. "You're doing a wonderful job." A rolling sound made the two vampires stare at the hall as the can rolled past. Ren aimed carefully and discharged a barrel.

With a deafening clang, the can flew into the air with a hole in it. "Whoa!" Karin gasped. "You got him." Ren simply blew smoke away from the top of his gun, grinned and walked over to the can. Suddenly, he heard Karin shriek, and he saw the mouse run past his leg. Reloading as he ran, he saw the mouse run into a hole in the floor. Karin ran next to him as he jammed the gun into the hole, not noticing the Arthro-annihilator bug bomb that had fallen off Kenta's belt, rolled under, the floor, and was right under the barrels. Unfortunately, vampiric powers did not cover x-ray vision.

"FIRE!" Screamed Karin, and Ren pulled the trigger.

There was a colossal explosion as a shockwave spread across the floor, then the ground below Karin and Ren collapsed, and the two vampires screamed as they fell to the basement.

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Karin forced herself back to consciousness and looked at Ren, who seemed to be staring at the ceiling. Karin tried to stand, but it made her head spin, so she decided not to try. Ren's voice broke the silence. "God, I hate that mouse."


	6. Chapter VI

Chapter VI

(Alright, here is the final chapter of Renovations! Oh, Sakura-Of-The-Sea, I wasn't simply taking all my ideas for an 'original' story from Mouse Hunt; this was meant to be a parody of the movie itself. I thought I had put it in the first chapter, but now that I think about it, I guess I didn't really clarify that fact. Whoops. So I changed the genres, and added something to the summary. Sorry again for the confusion, I'm not a plagiarist, at least not intentionally. Anyhoo, here's the last chapter!)

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Karin pulled herself out of the hole after Ren. The blue-haired vampire was silent as he dusted himself off and tossed the shotgun aside. Karin stared. "Ren?"

Her brother didn't answer, and just stared dead ahead. Karin looked at him, concerned. "Ren, it's okay." She grinned. "Come on, just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you're not allowed to make mistakes, so don't keep beating yourself up about it."

Ren stopped dead in his tracks, turned, and stared at Karin with wide eyes, stunned. "_What_?"

Karin grinned. "You're allowed to make mistakes."

Ren gave a hollow chuckle. "You...you think this is _my_ fault?!?" He asked, stupefied.

Karin shrugged. "Well, yeah. You shot the bug bomb. I tried to stop you, remember? I said you would blow holes in the house."

Ren laughed. "Yeah, well, I wasn't the one yelling 'shoot, shoot'!" He said, sounding maniacal.

"Uh...Ren?"

Ren looked thoroughly frightening now, his eyes flashing, and fangs extended to their full, formidable length of six inches. "This is all your fault, Karin! This week was smooth sailing until you suggested we redo the house!"

Even though she was frightened to the point she could feel her blood increasing, Karin had to laugh. "_Smooth sailing_?" She repeated. "Don't try to kid me, you were bored out of your skull!"

"AND IF I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ONCE I AGREED TO HELP YOU, I COULD HAVE TAKEN ABOUT A MONTH OF IT!!!!!!!!!!" Ren roared. That's when the phone rang. Ren tore over to it and snatched up the receiver with a brutality suggesting it had done him a tremendous personal wrong. "_Whaddayawant!?!_" He snarled into the mouthpiece. Then his expression smoothed out. "_An-ju_!" He said in a forced sing-song voice.There was a few seconds of silence, then...

"You _what_? How? I mean, you carry him everywhere you go!...No, Anju, I am not going to _mail_ him to you. You are coming home in five days, you can handle...huh? You couldn't sleep a wink for the last two days? Well, that isn't my problem, now, is it? You should keep better care of...you'll _what_? Oh yeah? Well same to _you_!" He shouted, slamming the relieved down, then rounded onKarin.

"Look at this place! There is a huge hole in the floor, the front door is busted, and thanks to that half-wit boyfriend of yours, there's a fissure down the stairs!"

Karin stopped. "_Half-wit_?" She asked. "Don't call Usui-kun that!"

Ren laughed. "Oh? Would you prefer that I called him a complete moron? Or a way to rebel against your parents? A sorry waste of nature? Those work just as...what are you gonna do with that orange?"

Karin's hand shook as she picked up the fruit. "Don't...insult...Usui-kun...in front of me!" She shouted, heaving the fruit at her brother with all her strength.

What happened next had to be the most remarkable chain of events to happen to the two vampires. Ren dodged the flying orange, it flew over his shoulder, and smacked the mouse, who was standing on the shelf next to him, slamming him into the wall and knocking it unconscious. Karin's eyes widened.

"Oh my _god_." she said.

Ren chuckled. "Man, just think about how much trouble we could have saved if we had just thrown fruit at him!" he said as the two vampires went over to the mouse.

Karin gasped. "Ren, look! It's still alive!" she said, as the mouse twitched.

Ren turned to her, tossing her a hammer left on the table. "Quick, finish him off!"

Karin raised the hammer, preparing to bring it down on the helpless mouse. She paused in the air, the hammer quivering, then she stopped, slowly lowering the hammer. "I can't."

Ren blinked, then blinked again, realizing he had heard her correctly. "_Excuse me_?"

Karin shook her head. "Look at him, he's helpless! I can't kill him."

Ren shoved her aside. "You pathetic little..._I'll_ do it!" He roared dramatically as he raised his glowing hand...then stopped.

"I _can't_!!!!!!" He shouted. He stopped, looking down at the slowly-moving mouse. "So now what?" He asked. "The thing's about to wake up!"

Karin thought for a few seconds.

"How about..."

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Ren held a small box as Karin drove them as fast as she could to the post office. Ren stared down at the box, which was emitting scrabbling noises. "Aww...I forgot to punch holes in the box."

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Ren dropped the box in the postal chute and watched it slide down. "Auf Wiedersehen, you little demon." He said.

Karin shook her head. "It's finally over..." She ran back to the car. Ren turned to follow her, then paused and turned back to the chute. _Something's wrong_.

"Ren, let's go!"

Ren shook his head. _Must've been my imagination_..._or all this stress has made me go insane_. He thought as he opened the door and re-entered the car.

"Coincidently, Ren," Karin asked, "where did you send that mouse, anyway?"

Ren grinned. "Somewhere _very_ far away."

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Karin and Ren spent the next four daysfrantically redoing the house. On the final day, Karin was putting the finishing touches on a huge dinner for when their parents came home. Ren, on the other hand, was reading over a (surprise, surprise) chess strategy book. Karin brokethe silence. "Mom and Dad willbe home at about 11:30 tonight."

"Yeah..." Ren nodded.

Karin turned to her brother. "I know why you stayed behind." She said. "That tournament, right?"

Ren nodded.

"You think that I want you to be here for when they come back, right?"

Ren nodded.

"Go to the tournament. I'll cover for you."

Ren dropped the book. "Seriously?" He asked.

Karinsmiled. "Go ahead! I owe you for helping me with the house, and uh," She blushed. "For all the stuff that happened to you over the last few days." She said.

Ren chuckled. "Well, maybe this covers the first one. The second part, we'll discuss later." He said, getting up and heading to the door, but stopped halfway and turned to his sister.

"Karin?"

Karin turned away from the stove. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

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"Are you sure this is the right house, Calera?" Henry asked, then cringed as a slipper clocked him over the head.

"Of course!" Calera said. "Isn't it obvious? Someone broke in, kicked out our children, and redecorated it!"

"I have to admit..." Anju said. "They have good taste."

"I don't care what kind of taste they have!" Said Calera. "Let's get him!" She shouted as she kicked down the door and flung the slipper at the closest thing to her.

"Hi ma-OOF!" Karin yelped as the slipper struck her in the forehead, knocking her out.

"Karin!" Henry shouted. "Are you okay?"

Karin sat up, holding the throbbing lump on her head. "Y-yeah..."

Anju looked around the house. "Uh, Onee-chan?What happened to the house? It looks...good..."

Karin grinned. "Ren and I redid the house! Surprised?"

Henry rubbed his finger on a desk. "You redid the house? You must have been bored."

Karin chuckled. "You have no idea."

The door swung forward and Ren burst in, looking flushed and exited. Dashing right past his parents, he ran up to Karin. "Karin! I pulled 9th! I have an official invite to the nationals next week!" Then he paused and turned. "Oh, hi Mom, Dad, Anju."

At the mention of her name, Anju's eyes narrowed. "Hello, Ren...let me guess; you meant none of it?"

Ren grinned nervously. "Yeahhh...I was stressed out about something. But it's..." Ren turned and looked away. "All over now."

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_Canada..._

Jaq Pierre hated his work at the Post Office. He always had to deal with prank packages, like the box from Japan with a hole in it. Why can't people figure out that Canada is _not_ up to something?

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Ren pulled the covers over his head. What a week...

He reached over to turn the light out, and saw something small and furry on the desk. His eyes widened.

_Did that mouse just...wink?_

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The End


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